Visits

11 days later, we met L at the foster home where the children had been living for over a year.  We were nervous, excited and a little bit scared.  We took a toy for each child just as a way to break the ice.  It seemed to help and gave us something to talk about with the children.  We chatted with the foster parents and L a little but mainly talked and played with the children.  The visit flew by and before we knew it our scheduled time was up.

During the remainder of August, the children came to our house for dinner during the middle of the week and then back again for progressively longer weekend visits.  Here are some pictures from some of the first visits to our house.

By the end of the month, we were ready to have the kids move in with us.  After a long visit over Labor Day weekend and then another mid-week dinner, we signed adoption placement papers on September 5th.  The kids went home with us that day.  We had tons of fun that weekend...

July 29, 2008

The afternoon of July 29th we traveled 2 hours to the county DFCS office with custody of the 4 children we met in June.  When we arrived, there were many other people in attendance; our case manager (J), the children's case manager (L), her supervisor (M) and a few other people that I have to admit I cannot now remember. 

I think we went through some pleasantries at the beginning of the meeting but everything up until the point that L started telling us about the children is a complete blur.  Then she began reading from the papers that she had.  We heard many acronyms that day; things like ADD, ADHD, PTSD and a few others.  We heard sad things and scary things.  We also heard positive things and promising things.  When L finished, they asked us what we thought.  I know they all expected us to ask for a few days to think things over.  The looks on their faces were priceless when Randy and I looked at one another and told them, "We want to adopt these children.  What do we do next?" 

After everyone got over the shock of our response, the group broke up and L took us to a separate room to setup a visitation schedule.  A happy coincidence for us was that the children were in a foster home less than 10 miles from our home so we were able to schedule many visits over a short time frame.  We left that day knowing we would see the children in 11 days. 

Fast Forward

Late in 2007, we began moving forward again.  Our first home study visit was scheduled for January 23rd of 2008.  We had fingerprints done in February.  We had another home study visit in March and then another in April.  We went for physicals and had TB tests in May. 

Then in June, we got the call about the adoption gathering at the end of the month.  Our case manager wanted us to meet 3 siblings.  Instead, we met 4. 

We played with those 4 children for the entire 3 hours of the gathering.  I left with burns on my elbows and knees from sliding down the inflatables with the children.  Randy escaped unscathed.  He had recently broken his nose while playing basketball and sat on the sidelines to avoid further injury while the 5 of us ran and jumped.  I would have never guessed that Randy's 2 black eyes would be such an icebreaker.  The kids asked all kinds of questions about what happened. 

If you're not familiar with adoption gatherings, the ones we attended had different activities that allowed the adults to interact with the children.  At this event, there were several inflatables for sliding and jumping.  There was a table with ingredients for making cookie mix in a jar.  There were hula hoops and sidewalk chalk outside.  There was also a room (actually curtains to make a room) where children were filmed in an interactive environment so that they could meet potential adoptive families across the state.

We left that day knowing that we wanted to learn more about the 4 siblings we had met.  Actually, we left that day convinced that these children were meant to be part of our family.  I e-mailed our case manager as soon as we got home and let her know that we had met 4 wonderful children.  She contacted the children's case manager to see if we could meet.  That meeting, the one that forever changed our lives, was scheduled for July 29, 2008.

Making the Call

When you begin exploring adoption in Georgia, you are directed to an 877 number to register and obtain some initial information.  We called in late 2006 and received a packet of information in the mail soon after that.  We contacted our local county DFCS (Division of Family & Children Services) and met with one of their case managers for an orientation meeting.  We were told about the process, the things we'd need to do and the training (IMPACT) we'd need to take. 

The only problem was our county wasn't offering the training anytime soon.  We were referred to a couple of other counties to determine if they were offering the training and if we could attend.  We struck out again.  Finally, after making many phone calls, we were referred to Lutheran Services of Georgia.  This turned out to be a very positive thing for us.  They were offering IMPACT classes the second weekend in March.  We were able to attend three very long days of training and meet the training requirement in just one weekend. 

We learned many things during our training.  We heard that children in foster care often come from abusive situations; physical, sexual and/or emotional.  We heard that many children in foster care were exposed to drugs and alcohol while in utero.  We heard that most children in foster care suffered neglect.  We heard that most children in foster care are older (meaning this isn't the place to be if you're interested in adopting an infant) or part of a sibling group.  We learned that these children are more difficult to place; simply because many people do not want to adopt an older child or do not want to adopt more than one child.  We knew immediately that we wanted to adopt siblings.

Then, life got in the way.  I had a new job.  My hubby was dealing with his peach of an ex-wife.  It just didn't seem the right time to bring children into our lives.